Poker Hand Nicknames

Here's an incomplete list of poker hand nicknames to improve your sense of humor. Warning: Some of these nicknames may offend.

Hole card nicknames
  • American Airlines
  • Pocket Rockets
  • Bullets
  • Big Slick
  • Walking Back to Houston
  • Big Slick in a Suit (if suited)
  • Korean Airlines
  • Little Slick
  • Big Chick
  • Big Slut
  • Blackjack
  • Jackass
  • Johnny Moss
  • Transvestite (looks like AA at first glance)
  • Ashtray
  • Baskin Robbins
  • Hunting Season
  • Cowboy Wolford
  • Cowboys
  • King Kong
  • Kangaroos
  • Royal Couple
  • Kojak
  • King John
  • Tucson Monster
  • Harry Potter
  • Starsky and Hutch
  • Saw Mill
  • A Pair of Dogs
  • Mop Squeezers
  • Ladies
  • Jailhouse Rock
  • Sigfried and Roy
  • Four Tits
  • The Hilton Sisters
  • Oedipus
  • Robert Varkonyi
  • Computer Hand
  • Village People
  • Grannie Mae
  • San Francisco Busboy
  • Gay Waiter
  • Jay Birds
  • Hooks
  • Devils


  • Jeff Talley
  • Motown
  • Jackson Five
  • Rock and Roll
  • Bubblegum Soul
  • Jay Birds
  • Hooks
  • Flat Tire
  • Binary
  • Woolworth
  • Broderick Crawford
  • Over and Out
  • Roger That
  • Good Buddy
  • Truckers' Special
  • Trucker
  • Executive Trucker (when suited)
  • Doyle Brunson
  • Popeyes
  • Phil Hellmuth
  • German Virgins
  • Oldsmobile
  • Joe Bernstein
  • Big Lick
  • Dinner For Two
  • The Good Lover
  • Happy Meal
  • Dolly Parton
  • Hard Working Man
  • Nine to Five
  • Joe Montana Banana
  • Jack Benny
  • Montana Banana
  • Twiggy
  • Snowmen
  • Two Fat Ladies
  • Dawg Balls
  • Racetracks
  • Double Infinity
  • RPM
  • Sven
  • Raquel Welch
  • Saturn
  • Mullets
  • Sunset Strip
  • Union Oil
  • Beer Hand
  • Route 66
  • Kicks
  • The Rabbit
  • Blocky
  • Presto
  • Speed Limit
  • Jesse James
  • Colt 45
  • Diana Dors
  • Magnum
  • Sailboats
  • Crabs
  • Hooter Stand
  • Mississippi Slick
  • Can of Corn
  • Ducks
  • Pocket Swans
  • Quack Quack
Full hand nicknames
  • Full Metal Jacket
  • Machine Gun (AK-47)
  • Steel Wheel
  • Dead Man's Hand
  • The Four Horsemen
  • The Alabama Night Riders
  • The Three Wise Men
  • Three Musketeers
  • Thirty Miles of Bad Road
  • The Devil
  • Satan
  • Lucifer
  • The Beast
  • Forest
  • Four Trees
  • Socks and Shoes

PokerDIY connects poker players with free poker league management

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Long live "The Rock": banned from Canterbury Card Club 11/23/2005
Post condolences and memories here

Recent News
Dr. Neau's Tournament Manager can now manage matched-based tournaments (Bracketed Heads-Up, Round-Robin Heads-Up and Sit-and-Go Series)
Jump to the Download and Licensing page.
Jump to the Download and Licensing page.
System requirements
Operating system - Any, as long as it supports Java 1.5 or higher. The Java Runtime Environment is free to download.

Processor - 400MHz minimum recommended

Video - 800x600 minimum recommended

Release Notes and Development Plan
Current release notes are always available here.

The notes include all changes starting with v3beta4.0. Additionally, they detail future plans.

If you need to get a question answered, you have two options:

1. Send email to

2. Post a question in the appropriate forum in the bulletin board.

Dr. Neau will get back to you as soon as possible. Note that he may ask you to zip up your entire repository and email it to him.

Bulletin Board
An online discussion forum for the users of Dr. Neau's Tournament Management System
Video Learning Modules
See the course catalog. If you're having trouble viewing the course catalog, jump straight to my YouTube page.
Component Library
My fabulous users have submitted components that you can download and use:

Click here to see the component library

Send your components to me if you think others can benefit from them.

Dr. Neau Baseball Cap

Get them while they're still available! Approximate cost: $13 (includes shipping)

Dr. Neau for ordering details
Wearing a Dr. Neau cap does not necessarily improve your results
Are you on Facebook? Join the Dr. Neau Zealots group: Another way to get updates.


Commercial casinos / businesses / bar leagues
5th Street Poker Parties - A Twin Cities-based organization focused on helping you host a professional-style poker tournament. Action shot.
Budapest Poker Open - Held at the Las Vegas and Tropicana casinos in Budapest, 11/27/05 - 12/4/05
Medina Poker League - The best damn poker bar in the Twin Cities - Charter member of the Amateur Poker League. Action shot.

Private leagues
Elite Poker Tour - Check out their game room!
Haps Invitational
Ho-Chuck Poker Room
Jeff & Steve's Poker League - The league that spawned Dr. Neau's Tournament Manager
Johnson Brothers Poker Series
Lucky Dog Poker Society
Silverlake Rounders
Turn n' Burn Rounders
Twin Cities Underground Poker League
Wednesday Night Poker - Ohio based league
Wet College Radio Poker League - Based in Ohio, where home games are legal
Witney No-Limit Hold'em Poker League - Poker Club in the United Kingdom.


Play-to-Win Company - Blackjack Simplified - Products to improve your Blackjack game...the "Quick Reference" strategy card and the "How to Play Blackjack" brochure.
Home Series of Poker - A free online league Manager...and it can import information from Dr. Neau's Tournament Manager!
Home Poker Tour - A free website that can be used to schedule and manage your home poker tournaments in the form of a home poker league...Dr. Neau's Tournament Manager can export files to the required format.
Home Poker Tourney - The site for information on running your own poker tournament.
Poker DIY - A poker league management site for connecting poker players...and it can import tournaments from DrNTM.

History of DrNTM
1983 - Dr. Neau gets an Apple IIe for Christmas. He and "The Eradicator" begin work on their first application: D&N's Dungeons and Dragons Assistant
1992 - Dr. Neau gets his degree in Computer Science and goes to work for Cray Research.
1996 - Dr. Neau writes his first Java application - A sports "Magic Number" calculator.
1999 - Dr. Neau gets his Masters in Software Engineering
2004 - (January) Dr. Neau and The Eradicator host their first tournament.  It was a logistical disaster.  Work begins on something to help.
2004 - (February) Dr. Neau creates and uses his first blind timer...just a timer with sounds. Several Excel-spreadsheet based solutions are tried. At one point, he has the Java timer, an Excel chip calculator, an Excel result/payout tracker and a Java seating manager...all separate.
2004 - (June) Dr. Neau makes "Dr. Neau's Tournament Manager, v1" available to the public for free. People tell him he should charge for it.
2005 - Dr. Neau releases v2. People actually pay. The Rock is banned from Canterbury Card Club. He continues enhancing the application through mid-2006.
2006 - Work begins on v3.
2009 - v3 is released.
2010 - v4 is released.

Dr. Neau has been running monthly 16-24 player tournaments since 2004 and uses his own league as a guinea pig for his software. He is a member of the Tournament Directors Association.

Darryl - May, 2009
"Version 3.0.9 was a smashing success, Jeff. Oh, there were those cocky folks that had a copy of version 2 limited that they had gotten from a friend and thought they had it all. But when we started flashing photos on the screen that were taken moments before and when the names and pictures of every player that was registered and eliminated started flashing up on the screen, you could actually hear oohs and adds and little sheisters then coming up and asking if they could have a copy of it. I said 'Sure' and gave them your address."

Matt - February, 2009
"I used the software this weekend for a charity tournament event. What a fantastic piece of software."

Chuck - January, 2006
"Your software is what makes our tourneys rock. You have done an outstanding job with it."

Terr - July, 2005
"This is by far the best tournament software I have used. I have read the target market for this is small home tournaments but let me tell you in my opinion this is perfect for someone like me running large 150 -200 person tournaments."

"abhunter" - June, 2005
"...everyone had a great time and said the tournament was run like a top notch game. They all said the software program made it all work out. I want to thank you for a great product."

"blockhead" - February, 2005
"But best part is that the whining, bitching that used to go on is now gone."

Some internet blog - February 2005
"This is one of the neatest programs that I have used for organizing the guys poker night at the house. Dr. Neau has used his "skee-ill" to put together a well thought out program."

Martin - February 2005
"This is by far the most complete and customizable tournament manager software that I had the chance to stumble across."

Bard - February, 2005
"I finally got to take the software on two live runs through actual tournaments this weekend, and it worked great.  Took a lot of the the grunt work out of the game and let us enjoy the poker that much more. Many thanks for all your effort; I wish some of these large software companies could see what can be done with a little time and effort and focus on the product, rather than the profit.  I appreciate the chance to try it out.  If this ever does grow into something you could profit from, I wish you all the luck."

Gooty Brother - February, 2005
"Jeff:  We used Tournament Manager ("TM") for our 11th annual [tournament] last night.  Although we employ a rather unique combined limit/no-limit structure for a 7-card stud tournament, TM did an admirable job of managing our tournament.  Thought you might enjoy seeing the fruits of your labor in action.  The attached photo shows the winners of GBPT 2005 with TM displayed in the background."

Jack - January, 2005
"You’re doing a great job developing this…..I have looked at other programs that cost in the $60 to $70 range that don’t have some of these features..."

Mr. Princeton - January, 2005
"I play a fair amount and just about every program I see pales in comparison to yours..."

Bruce - January, 2005
"I and all the guys in our tournaments love your software. We just started having tournaments and were concerned about how everyone would act. Some people get pissed off over the smallest thing (especially if they lose). By using your software, all the main decisions like who sits where, when the blinds change, keeping track of the finishing order, and so on, were made by the computer. No one got upset or angry and everything was great. Having your software has guaranteed that I will be invited to every tournament around. I sent you some money. I wished I could pay more. I am glad you took the time to work on this software and I am very glad you share it with others."

Mr. BJC - July, 2004
"This program is awesome!...This program will make a lot of people happy..."

Jamaican Pete - July, 2004
"I wanted to let you know that I used the TM on the Mac on Saturday night...everything worked perfectly and it was a lot of fun for the table."

Mr. Mooney - July, 2004
"I really like your tournament manager. I think it will add that little bit of class I need to pull this first time event off."

Jamaican Pete - August, 2004
"I'm a regular at a couple of online poker forums, and every so often people post requests for recommendations for this type of software - Tournament Director seems to be the most commonly mentioned program. I've looked at it and I think yours is better. Would it be ok for me to refer people to Tournament Manager?"

Mickey C - August 2004
"Thanks for a great product and your time and effort"

Matt E - August, 2004
"I can't thank you enough for all your hard work. I've sent [a payment] via paypal. I would have sent more, but I was knocked out 7th in the tournament Friday! Everyone was VERY impressed. I ran it as a sever (Mac G4, 400MHz, 1GigRAM, OS 10.3.5 with latest Java update from Apple) and as a client (17" 1.3 GHz G4 Powerbook, 1GigRAM, OS 10.3.5 & latest Java from Apple) over my wireless (802.11g) network. Everything went as smooth as silk. I was free to enjoy (getting my ass kicked) the tournament without worrying about managing it. It was a great success, the most fun I've had losing my ass. You should definitely NOT be giving this EXCELLENT piece of software away for free. In fact, I think you should be selling it to Casinos and Card Rooms for several hundred dollars a copy. I'm a software project manager and I have some idea of the pain you must have gone through to write and test this very full-featured cross platform application...."
Special thanks goes to:

The remaining founders: Aaron, Allen, Carl, Charles, Jeremiah, John, Marco, Martin, Nelson and Peter.
The Twin Cities Underground Poker League for being willing guinea pigs.
The Eradictor for being a great person to bounce ideas off of.
The v3 beta testers for making great suggestions and finding obscure bugs.
The Poker Knights of Calgary for screwing me and forcing me to get a real license manager for v3.